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2:48 AM, Thursday, July 06, 2006.
From: "Kimi"
Subject: Christmas Fruitcake
Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 15:49:54 -0800
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Christmas Fruitcake
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey
Sample whiskey to check for quality.
Get a large bowl
check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality
pour 1 level cup and drink
repeat
turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in large fluffy bowl
add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again
make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixer
break two legs and add to the bowl, then chuck in the cup of dried fruit
mix on the turner
if the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a
drewscriver
sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity
next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Whatever.
Check the whiskey. Is it okay?
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts
add one. Table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees
don't forget to beat off the turner
throw the bowl out the window
check the whiskey again
go to bed
who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?
—posted by Earlwin. 0 comments
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I Love U Virus.
2:39 AM, .
Date: May 29, 2000. JPEG file. Size: 44KB. Art by Roberto Hangosi? Forwarded by Henk. "Don't panic! Het is niet een echt virus, hoor. Trouwens ma, Anneliz heeft die foto's gevonden waarvan wij dachten dat ze ze verknipt had. En ze had ze niet eens verknipt dus."
—posted by Earlwin. 0 comments
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Grab My Big Poll.
2:27 AM, .
—posted by Earlwin. 0 comments
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How I lost weight, too!.
1:42 AM, .
First, see TinyTigerrr's original Blog on MySpace. Done? Good.
That's right how did I lose weight, too, like what's-her-name lost her cottage cheese ass by using the SIX DIET program.
I'll show you how, . . . What you say? Watch now. . . . Wait, almost there. There you go. Now we are closer. Now, much closer. . . .
Masturbate, Masturbate, Masturbate. Rinse, soap hand, towel dry, and repeat. When I say repeat, I don't mean wash you hands again. Lest you want to develop carpal tunnel syndrome, the experts from "Rough Jacking Off Institute of Higher Learning" suggested to alternate between the left and right hand; if you got a third hand, be my guest.
Use a proper lube, but don't oil too much, or your hands will slip back too fast and punch your own balls. Quick and aggressive masturbation is highly suggested as you will burn more calories this way. However, you have to stay awake, or your friends will find you with you hands wrap around your ding dong with sticky snot-like fluid covered all over your face and belly. Embarrassing.
—posted by Earlwin. 0 comments
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